Upward Bound…

I was sitting at the buh us stop,
One stop, but couldn’t be arsed to walk to top ooo ooo
On a tour? No, Spar Shop, got carrier bag in pocket and a fiver in my hand ooo ooo
Driver behind protective screen is darkly tanned wants one-fifty in his hand ooo

Upward bound
I was, I was
Upward bound

Shop, she wants spuds for baking
Shop, maybe get some cake in
Shop, where the cashier’s taking
My last three fifty from me

On journey had a short daydream
For the cake should I get some cream?
Single? Double? S’the same to me, Carnation’ll be satisfactory
Cholesterol danger I can’t see, sack those furred up arteries

Upward bound
I was, I was
Upward bound

Shop, she said get spuds for baking
Shop, and get some cake in
Shop, where the cashier’s raking
My last three fifty from me

Tonight I’ll have baked spuds at ten
Four hours in the ov, ov en
With beans ’n cheese ’n butter see, the basest gastronom’eee
Yes ten is where I want to be, comfort eating, not writing this parody—ooo ooo yum yum

Shop…

 

For my son Sam this; I ad-libbed it earlier, have tried to firm it up